Counterfeit love also known as Stockholm syndrome, is inhumanly powerful in keeping us bonded to the abuser.  The Obsessive relentless thoughts of how to stay safe and keep the abuser happy while systematically holding down the painful withdrawal symptoms is trauma bond at its peek. 

According to Psychology Today, “Trauma-bonding is a hormonal attachment created by repeated abuse, sprinkled with being “saved” every now and then. A slightly different version of this cycle can be seen when we are sitting at a slot machine in Vegas. It’s called intermittent reinforcement and casinos have long used the data surrounding it to help us pour our life savings into their hands in the hope that we might finally “win.”

The Neuro chemical active in a trauma bond that amplifies the inability to leave or the return after attempts to leave are dopamine, oxytocin, endogenous opioids. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical. Oxytocin as the love hormone and endogenous opioids as the attachment system that soothes emotions.

Interaction, connection, and the deep level to be with others is natural, we are supposed to bond as humanity is needed to evolve. When we feel the connection to another, then dopamine is released  and  gives the mental approval , while the oxytocin’s are activated the bonding is occurs through this  hormones, and lastly the endogenous opioids puts all emotions at rest through soothing any or left over anxiety or questioning of the relationship.

Once we have bonded with the abuser, the coercion, judgements, harshly criticizing behavior is interpreted from a place of love rather abuse. The rational thinking and  to see or even question that this may be abuse is shut down by the love system that was created in the beginning. To break the trauma bond and to leave the abuser brings forth radical withdrawal symptoms only seen when the victims tries to leave;  the love systems will protests with obsessive thinking and Stockholm syndrome indoctrination to pull them back in to the abuse cycle. Finally Free Life is specialized in guiding and helping navigate out of this dark and sticky spiders web.